How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--From Tots to Teens
- Downloads：6096
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-08-06 06:51:19
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Melinda Wenner Moyer
- ISBN：0593086937
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear， actionable， sometimes humorous （but always science-based） guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest， kind， generous， confident， independent， and resilient people。。。who just might save the world one day。
As an award-winning science journalist， Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train， when and whether to get vaccines， and how to help kids sleep through the night。 But as Melinda's children grew， she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes？
On social media， in the news， and from the highest levels are government， kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish， obnoxious and cruel is okay。 Hate crimes among children and teens are rising， while compassion among teens has been dropping。 We know， of course， that young people have the capacity for great empathy， resilience， and action， and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow。 But how do we actually do this？ How do we raise children who are kind， considerate， and ethical inside and outside the home， who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place？
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched， evidence-based primer that provides a fresh， often surprising perspective on parenting issues， from toddlerhood through the teenage years。 First， Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess--including honesty， generosity， and antiracism--and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids。 Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with--and who just might save the world。
As an award-winning science journalist， Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train， when and whether to get vaccines， and how to help kids sleep through the night。 But as Melinda's children grew， she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes？
On social media， in the news， and from the highest levels are government， kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish， obnoxious and cruel is okay。 Hate crimes among children and teens are rising， while compassion among teens has been dropping。 We know， of course， that young people have the capacity for great empathy， resilience， and action， and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow。 But how do we actually do this？ How do we raise children who are kind， considerate， and ethical inside and outside the home， who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place？
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched， evidence-based primer that provides a fresh， often surprising perspective on parenting issues， from toddlerhood through the teenage years。 First， Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess--including honesty， generosity， and antiracism--and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids。 Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with--and who just might save the world。
Reviews
Kaytee Cobb
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A great compilation of ideas that can be culled from a lot of other great books as well， but pulled into one location。 And with plenty of fun snark to round it out！
Jesse Keljo
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Have kids？ Want to have kids one day？ Heck， do you teach or otherwise work with kids？ This book is absolutely incredible！ It really distills concepts I had encountered through Love and Logic and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen in a way that really spoke to me （but I highly recommend those books as well）。 The topics covered include bullying， sibling relationships， sex， sexism and gender discrimination， screen time， racism， selfishness， grit， and self-esteem to name a few。 The author does a great Have kids？ Want to have kids one day？ Heck， do you teach or otherwise work with kids？ This book is absolutely incredible！ It really distills concepts I had encountered through Love and Logic and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen in a way that really spoke to me （but I highly recommend those books as well）。 The topics covered include bullying， sibling relationships， sex， sexism and gender discrimination， screen time， racism， selfishness， grit， and self-esteem to name a few。 The author does a great job at meeting you where you are and is very honest with her own shortcomings， which is refreshing and encouraging because none of us （even extremely well-researched experts） are perfect。 I also highly recommend the audiobook， which is well-narrated by the author。 。。。more
Lisa L。 Lewis
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A treasure trove of science-backed advice for parents！ Wenner Moyer delves into some of the thorny issues parents face -- racism， sexism， bullying， sex， and more -- and provides insightful， actionable information in this engaging book。
Tracy Bunye
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As a clinical psychologist who works with children and families， I am always looking for books to recommend to parents - and for books to improve my own parenting。 I read this book cover-to-cover in a couple of days and it is TERRIFIC！ It is chock full of both "big picture" information and concrete， targeted guidance for the thorniest of parenting challenges。 I love how the author presents her own struggles in a way that helps you feel like you're not the only one wrestling with how to respond i As a clinical psychologist who works with children and families， I am always looking for books to recommend to parents - and for books to improve my own parenting。 I read this book cover-to-cover in a couple of days and it is TERRIFIC！ It is chock full of both "big picture" information and concrete， targeted guidance for the thorniest of parenting challenges。 I love how the author presents her own struggles in a way that helps you feel like you're not the only one wrestling with how to respond in difficult moments。 The table of contents gives a great overview of what to expect from each chapter - I especially appreciated the chapters on bullying （3）， anti-racism （7）， and sibling conflicts （9）。 The author has a keen ability to translate complex scientific research into relatable and practical guidance。 Highly recommend！ 。。。more
Brook Obsessed
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A science based parenting guide on how to raise kind， resilient， independent， and generous kids。 A thoroughly researched novel that uses statistics and data heavy studies that help parents better understand how to guide their children to be more considerate and ethical human beings。 An enlightening and relevant parenting book packed with lots of good advice！A journalists fact driven and deeply investigated journey on how we， as parents， can raise thoughtful and philanthropic children that will c A science based parenting guide on how to raise kind， resilient， independent， and generous kids。 A thoroughly researched novel that uses statistics and data heavy studies that help parents better understand how to guide their children to be more considerate and ethical human beings。 An enlightening and relevant parenting book packed with lots of good advice！A journalists fact driven and deeply investigated journey on how we， as parents， can raise thoughtful and philanthropic children that will change the world。This is an easy and thought-provoking read that is well researched， written in a clear and insightful way， and reminds me as a parent， yet again to be more communicative with my children about every aspect of life。 I love how the author stated why certain tests worked and went on to provide strategist in everyday life。 I learned a lot about myself and what I need to work on with my children after reading this book。 If you’re a parent， this is one book you don’t want to miss！ 。。。more
Paul M
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I am beyond excited finally to have my hands on this book。 I've been reading Melinda's columns for years， and I've been subscribed to her parenting newsletter for the last several months。 Her work is heartfelt and well-researched。 This is a must-own parenting book。 I am beyond excited finally to have my hands on this book。 I've been reading Melinda's columns for years， and I've been subscribed to her parenting newsletter for the last several months。 Her work is heartfelt and well-researched。 This is a must-own parenting book。 。。。more
Kelly
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I received a copy to review。 Really excellent。 As a pediatrician， I have drawn most of the same conclusions about these topics by following the literature。 Readable; high yield and well written！
Lauren loves llamas
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Content notes: （view spoiler）[discussions of racism， gender essentialism， bullying， aniety/depression， drug use （hide spoiler）]While I wouldn’t consider myself a stellar parent by any measure， I enjoy reading about parenting studies and generally try to do my best for my kids。 So I picked this up not expecting to learn too much new information， only to be completely gobsmacked by how much of my general liberal parenting knowledge was completely wrong – and which bits were right。 It’s a well-rese Content notes: （view spoiler）[discussions of racism， gender essentialism， bullying， aniety/depression， drug use （hide spoiler）]While I wouldn’t consider myself a stellar parent by any measure， I enjoy reading about parenting studies and generally try to do my best for my kids。 So I picked this up not expecting to learn too much new information， only to be completely gobsmacked by how much of my general liberal parenting knowledge was completely wrong – and which bits were right。 It’s a well-researched and thought provoking book， and I’ve already recommended it to other parents。“More than anything else， I want my kids to be happy and to feel loved。 Yet as I observe the cruelty that is increasingly enveloping our country， a growing part of me wants something else for my kids， too: I want them to be kindhearted and to treat other people with respect and dignity。 It’s not something I used to actively think about， but now it feels pressing and essential。” The book covers a diverse group of topics， including self-esteem， kindness， racism， gender inequalities and sibling rivalry。 Each chapter covers a topic and is summarized in a list of five or so points， with scientific backup for each bit of advice， as well as strategies for how to apply it。 The author has a knack for condensing studies and presenting them in an easily understandable way， as well as highlighting what they’re saying – or not saying （looking at you， screentime study）。 Other books and authors are frequently referenced （the notes section at the end of the book is huge！）， making it easy to know where to go if you want more information on certain topics， and I’ve already put several on hold at the library。 Even with all that knowledge， however， the author admits that even she sometimes fails to follow her own advice， and I loved how very nonjudgemental the whole book was。“A growing body of research suggests that ‘soft skills’ like empathy and kindness predict long-term success far more than do ‘hard skills’ such as academic scores and grades。” You may be wondering why being kind （the flip-side of being an asshole， I’d say） is even important。 After all， as the author also points out， we frequently have examples of people in our highest offices who are frankly quite awful people。 But studies show that kind kids are more likely to be popular， to have good self-esteem， and to do better in both school and their future careers。 One of my key takeaways was how simply talking about kids’ feelings can improve how they treat others。 It helps develop something called “theory of mind，” where kids can think about and predict how other people are feeling。 Unsurprisingly， that’s related to being kinder， having higher self-esteem， being less racist， and also leads to better sibling relationships。It applies to parents as well。 The author uses one example of a parent catching a child taking money from the mom’s purse。 The immediate response for many people would be to yell “That’s stealing！” or something similar， and leave it at that。 But， if the parent asks the child why， they find out that they want to donate money to a cause at school， so the parent can then explain that while that’s a good use of money， they need to ask first or it’s considered stealing， which hurts other people。 Emphasizing feelings， asking your kids to identify their feelings， giving explanations – these are all things that can seem like overdoing it， but studies show that it’s necessary to spell these things out for kids。 Reading books about diversity and racism isn’t much good if you’re not also discussing it with your kids。 And on that note， the author is white and she acknowledges that privilege， specifically addressing a large chunk of the racism chapter to white parents。Overall， this book gave me a lot of food for thought， a lot of ideas for changing my parenting style， and a bit of hope， too。 Recommended to any parent looking for a research heavy book to help their kids build a “better， fairer， stronger world。”I received an advance review copy of this book from NetGalley。 This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review。 。。。more
Chris Boutté
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I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of this book and wasn’t sure what to expect because I’ve never read any work from Melinda。 Although I’m a parent who loves to read， I’m not a massive fan of parenting books because a lot of them are purely based on subjective opinions， and parenting is different for all of us。 With that being said， this book from Melinda Wenner Moyer is a must-read for just about anyone who interacts with kids。 On Twitter， I made a joke that this book should be I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of this book and wasn’t sure what to expect because I’ve never read any work from Melinda。 Although I’m a parent who loves to read， I’m not a massive fan of parenting books because a lot of them are purely based on subjective opinions， and parenting is different for all of us。 With that being said， this book from Melinda Wenner Moyer is a must-read for just about anyone who interacts with kids。 On Twitter， I made a joke that this book should be handed out in maternity wards， but I wasn’t even really joking。 This book is that good， that I hope it gets the attention it deserves， and if you’re ever looking for a baby shower gift， give them a copy of this book。 So， why was the book so good？ First， Melinda is an excellent writer who was able to keep me engaged throughout the book， and I binged it within a matter of days。 Melinda does an insane amount of research， and it shows in this book。 She cites evidence-based studies， and she also interviewed a ton of experts in child psychology and development。 Personally， I think I’m a decent parent who has a lot of conversations with my son about all sorts of topics， but Melinda covered a bunch of areas I hadn’t even considered。 Even for topics such as sexism， mysogyny， racism， and other subjects， she pointed to some research and gave excellent tips that I’ll definitely be using with my son。 Not only that， but throughout the book， Melinda shares personal experiences with her children and admits that even after all of the work for this book， she’s still working on her parenting and has learned to cut herself some slack because none of us are perfect parents。 If I had to have a criticism of the book， it’d be that there wasn’t a specific chapter dedicated to mental health and substance use。 But personally， I think with all of the strategies and research provided in this book， you can take what you learned and apply it to conversations with your kids about mental health and substance use。 And she does touch on topics like mental health and well-being throughout the book in chapters like the one on screen time or discussions about sex。Lastly， although it may make me sound bias in this review， I must say that Melinda is good people。 As someone who reads a ton of books， receives advanced copies， writes reviews， and interviews authors on The Rewired Soul podcast， I’ve met a lot of jerks and people with massive egos。 I like supporting authors who are good people， and from my interactions with Melinda， she’s definitely one of them from my interactions with her。 I think this is important to note because there are authors I absolutely love， but regardless of their knowledge and talent， I debate on supporting their books because of how they treat people。 So， if you want to read one of the best parenting books out there while supporting a good person， get this book。 。。。more
Madeleine
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I was so excited to receive this book in exchange for a review。 I was crossing my fingers that I would win！ I knew it would a fun， humorous way of looking at this very important （often overlooked topic）。 There are 1 million parenting books that teach us all the things we need to do for a baby and toddler‘s but nothing about what to do from then on out。 How to make sure the respectable pillars of society。 How to raise them to be kind and courageous。 The world needs more young individuals （where i I was so excited to receive this book in exchange for a review。 I was crossing my fingers that I would win！ I knew it would a fun， humorous way of looking at this very important （often overlooked topic）。 There are 1 million parenting books that teach us all the things we need to do for a baby and toddler‘s but nothing about what to do from then on out。 How to make sure the respectable pillars of society。 How to raise them to be kind and courageous。 The world needs more young individuals （where instant gratification and first world luxuries are at an all-time high） who are well-groomed from an early age on how to navigate this。 。。。more
Jenny
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This is a fantastic and essential parenting book。 Easy to read， funny， and full of great information on things like sibling disputes， addressing racism with your kids， sexual education， and the importance of teaching kids how to recognize and manage big emotions。 It's full of science， without being dry or difficult to understand。 Just a gem of a parenting book that everyone should read。 This is a fantastic and essential parenting book。 Easy to read， funny， and full of great information on things like sibling disputes， addressing racism with your kids， sexual education， and the importance of teaching kids how to recognize and manage big emotions。 It's full of science， without being dry or difficult to understand。 Just a gem of a parenting book that everyone should read。 。。。more
Michael Moyer
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